THE professionals on Strictly who have refused Covid vaccines have reassured the nation that they will still f**k their celebrity partners.
The dancers believe the vaccine is insufficiently tested but will continue to test any and all available marriages to breaking point and beyond.
A dancer, speaking anonymously, said: “You don’t know what’s in that vaccine. But I know exactly what’s in Greg Wise – a middle-aged yearning for sexy fun that eventually reaches consummation in a Fleetwood Travelodge.
“I’ll trust my immune system to deal with Covid, thanks, and I’ll trust my youthful looks, natural sense of rhythm and a job where I rub against him all day to get headlines for ruining Emma Thompson’s marriage.
“Catching Covid is a risk I’m prepared to take. Being caught nuts-deep in a gorgeous and flexible dancer is a risk Greg’s clearly prepared to take, or he wouldn’t have done the show.”
A BBC spokesman said: “In this pandemic, Britain needs the fantasy of dumping your dull-ass long-term boyfriend for a hot Russian who goes like a train more than ever.
“Strictly will provide. It’s literally in their contracts.”