CLOSETED superstar Taylor Swift is double-bluffing again with an album of songs ostensibly about macho man Travis Kelce. But the lyrics reveal what we’ve known for years – that she’s a lesbian.
‘Pledge allegiance to your hands/ Your team, your vibes’
Album opener The Fate of Ophelia could be telling the story of football player Kelce begging to meet Taylor on his podcast. But consider a different interpretation of the word ‘team’. Yes, Taylor is saying she ‘bats for the other team’.
‘Hey, what could you possibly get for the girl who has everything, and nothing all at once?’
In Elizabeth Taylor, Taylor speaks to the violet-eyed actress through song about her failed romances. Talking to another woman? That’s got the gaydar going already. And then she comes out with a line about having ‘everything’ (men) and ‘nothing all at once’ (because she doesn’t fancy men).
‘Got me dreaming ‘bout a driveway/ With a basketball hoop’
On a first listen, Wi$h Li$t is a song about wishing for an idyllic suburban life with Travis. But hang on – Mr Kelce plays American football, not basketball. And what type of women are famously always lesbians? Female sportswomen, of course. It couldn’t be more obvious.
‘The curse on me was broken by your magic wand’
Wood might seem like the straightest song ever, seemingly fawning over her fiancé’s massive penis. This line in the pre-chorus, however, gives you pause. The ‘magic wand’ in question has got to be a vibrator, and men are too easily emasculated to use sex toys in the bedroom.
‘You can call me “honey” if you want/ Because I’m the one you want/ You give it a different meaning’
Over on Honey, Taylor lets us in on what the whole album has been about: finding a ‘different meaning’ to everything she’s been saying. We’re one step ahead of you, Tay-Tay.
