SUPERSTAR DJ Calvin Harris is the number one role model for young aspiring douchebags, it has emerged.
18-year-old douche-in-training Tom Booker said: “I like his awesome muscular body, his famousness and his highly commercial, careerist approach to art.
“It really speaks to me. Also Taylor Swift is so hot, I can imagine taking her to the launch event for a male fragrance.”
Junior douche Julian Cook agreed: “I like the videos for his songs, where underwear-clad young women with semi-comatose expressions writhe around in expensive locations. The music is good too – loud bit, quiet bit, loud bit.
“I like to watch them on the big telly screen in the gym, when I am doing exercises on my chest and making lists of all the supercars I want to own by the time I am 30.”
He added: “I have been described as a ‘douchebag’, and I actually like that word because it sounds American – America is where the big money is.
“Sometime soon all men will be like me, that’s just how the world is going and there is nothing you can do to stop it.”