91 per cent of Londoners work as levitating Yodas

NINE in every ten Londoners are working shifts as levitating Yodas around the capital, it has emerged. 

Residents say they have to dress in robes, pull on a rubber mask and float unsupported in the air apart from the big stick obviously holding them up, simply to make ends meet. 

Bank manager Mary Fisher said: “My salary just about covers the mortgage, but for bills and food I rely on my, and my husband’s and eldest child’s, Yoda income. 

“I can’t get a spot in Trafalgar Square, where there are upwards of 40 Yodas per square foot, so I’m in an alley behind a kebab shop in Acton where there’s only six of us. 

“Still pulls in good money, but the problem is I pass so many levitating Yodas on the way home that I’ve given most of it away. 

“How do they do it? It’s amazing!”