NINE in every ten Londoners are working shifts as levitating Yodas around the capital, it has emerged.
Residents say they have to dress in robes, pull on a rubber mask and float unsupported in the air apart from the big stick obviously holding them up, simply to make ends meet.
Bank manager Mary Fisher said: “My salary just about covers the mortgage, but for bills and food I rely on my, and my husband’s and eldest child’s, Yoda income.
“I can’t get a spot in Trafalgar Square, where there are upwards of 40 Yodas per square foot, so I’m in an alley behind a kebab shop in Acton where there’s only six of us.
“Still pulls in good money, but the problem is I pass so many levitating Yodas on the way home that I’ve given most of it away.
“How do they do it? It’s amazing!”