Blair Offers Hamas Three Years No Claims Bonus Protection

TONY Blair last night predicted a new era in the Middle East after offering Hamas three years protection on their no claims bonus.

Mr Blair is in constant demand

After weeks of negotiation Mr Blair said Hamas had finally agreed that 'change happenz' and signed up for a package that will save the militant Palestinian organisation hundreds of pounds a year.

Hamas has been crippled by insurance claims since it started blowing up cars in the mid 1970s.

Mr Blair said: "A car bomb is not usually classed as a no-fault claim, so inevitably Hamas is seen as a high-risk with substantial ongoing liabilities.

"I had a look at their existing policy and there's no courtesy car, no breakdown, and the windscreen cover is laughable. But what would you expect from Norwich Union?"

He added: "I'm giving them three years, that's right, three years NCB protection, up to £1 million in legal fees, European breakdown cover and I'm even throwing in a state of the art Samsung DVD player. Calm down dear? I wish I could."

The former prime minister is also urging Hamas, the PLO and Islamic Jihad to replace their existing fleets of Toyota Hi-Lux pick-up trucks.

"On paper a brand new Toyota looks like a lot of money, but as it happens I know of a reputable New York bank that can finance the whole package at 4.6% a year APR. Why not give us a call?"