LEAVE voters have furiously turned on Blue Riband chocolate wafer biscuits to avoid losing face over Brexit.
After it was announced that the biscuits would be made in Poland due to rising costs, Brexit supporters agreed that anyone purchasing them should face the death penalty for treason.
Sales manager Nikki Hollis said: “I only like good, patriotic British biscuits. You don’t see custard creams running away at the first sign of trouble.
“In years to come, ‘wearing a Blue Riband’ will mean the same as traitor. Today it’s just eating a slightly bland chocolate wafer, tomorrow they’ll be blowing up railway bridges.
“Strange, because I always thought Trios would be the quislings. Because they’re red, and red things hate freedom.”
Builder Roy Hobbs said: “When I heard the news I immediately ran to the biscuit cupboard and started stamping on the Blue Ribands in a fit of patriotism.
“Then I realised that was inappropriate, and instead tied them to sticks in the back garden and executed them with my air rifle in an impromptu ‘biscuit firing squad’.”