PASSENGERS delayed at Gatwick Airport will be forced into slavery on a nearby oilfield.
The discovery of the huge oil reserve in Surrey will allow Britain’s second largest airport to make the experience of being there even more hellish.
A Gatwick spokesman said: “If your flight is delayed for more than half an hour we’ll drag you off to the oilfield where you will operate large, dangerous machines while facing the constant risk of bursting into flames.
“You won’t be allowed to board your plane unless you produce a stamped work card proving you’ve completed your shift.”
The spokesman added: “We have no financial interest in the oilfield, we just see this as a great opportunity to make innocent people suffer.
“We will beat you with truncheons if you complain.”