G20 Produces One Trillion Dollars From Behind Your Ear

THE G20 summit made you giggle like a schoolgirl last night after producing a shiny $1 trillion coin from behind your right ear.

Everyone loves Uncle Gordon

At the close of an historic meeting in London, Gordon Brown delighted his fellow world leaders by crouching down asking you if you had any money.

When you frowned and shook your head, the prime minister moved his hand up to your right ear where he produced a big, golden coin before adding: "Really? Well, what do we have here?"

Mr Brown then gave you the coin, patted you on the head and urged you to spend it all on sweets.

But as global markets applauded the miracle of the golden coin, experts urged caution, stressing Mr Brown's playful generosity is what is known in the real world as an 'illuuuusion'.

Tom Logan, of the Institute for Studies, said: "It allows you to carry on spending money on sweets while convincing yourself that you will not, at some point, have to start paying it back. Forever. And ever. And ever.

"I'll be honest with you, we're now in so much debt that if you can summon up the courage to look at your share of it you will scream, faint and shit your pants all at the same time.

"Not only that but the coin does actually belong to some Chinese and Saudi Arabian gentlemen and if they don't get it back they will make you dance naked on a table and turn your house into a bathroom for their racehorses."

He added: "What the coin basically means is that your retirement will last the eight seconds it takes for you to collapse at your work station, fall to the floor and die and up until that point you'll be taxed every time you use the letter 'A'.

"Enjoy your sweets."