How did these Brexit donor arseholes get to be so rich? asks Britain

BRITONS are confused as to how multi-millionaires can support something as stupid as Brexit yet also be good at business.

After financier Jeremy Hosking offered £700,000 to campaign against Remain MPs, people are wondering how you can be clever at making money but thick about trashing the economy.

Tom Logan said: “This guy is an ‘asset manager’ which does sound tremendously skilled. I suppose he could be one of these clever people with no common sense who tries to use a hairdryer while he’s having a bath.

“Or maybe he’s just been lucky all these years by doing things like investing in Apple because he likes apples and Amazon because he likes tall women and/or large rivers.”

Nurse Emma Bradford said: “At first I thought rich Brexiters just wanted lower taxes, but they all believe the same bullshit as my friend Kaz who thinks the EU is basically the Nazis without uniforms.

“Still, with all that money at least they can give some to people who lose their jobs because of Brexit. I’m sure that’s the plan.”

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Tory fears as fox spotted on top of horse

TORY fears of a brutal fox insurgency are growing  after one of them was spotted trying to ride a horse.

Martin Bishop, a big fat Tory who farms eight million acres near Asterley in Shropshire, said: “It was all a bit haphazard. He obviously didn’t know where to put his back legs and he kept falling off.

“But he was wearing a little hat, so they obviously know about equestrian safety. I’ll tell you what, once these buggers get the hang of it, I am a dead man walking.”

Bill McKay, assistant chief constable of Shropshire Police, said: “I would advise Tories to stay indoors unless they’re very good at hiding in hedgerows or able to leave some kind of false scent.

“But if a Tory does find itself in open countryside with a group of mounted foxes hurtling towards it, it should either pretend to be a tree or dig a hole really, really quickly.”

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “There is no more dangerous combination in all of nature than a fox who knows how to ride a horse.

“It would be fascinating to see a group of mounted foxes up close. I wonder if they’ll be twats?”