JOB interviewers are chatty and laugh at your jokes if they think you are time-wasting scum, it has emerged.
Relaxed interviews that are humorous or feel more like a chat indicate the candidate has been judged too pathetic for a serious workplace with grown-up people doing important jobs.
HR manager Donna Sheridan said: “We do the friendly thing if we’re killing time before the next worthwhile interview, which hopefully will be a dead-eyed work obsessive because they’re the most productive ones.
“The idiots think we’re all getting along famously, but really we despise their needy attempts at friendship. Also I couldn’t give a shit whether they’ve got interesting hobbies or just spend their weekends staring at a wall.”
Recent graduate Tom Logan said: “I had a terrific interview recently where the boss Peter laughed at all my jokes, and his deputy Lucy kept smiling at me with her lovely teeth.
“Afterwards I had a bit of a fantasy about Peter becoming my friend and mentor, and Lucy going out with me. Then someone I hadn’t met sent me a one-line rejection email.”
Graphic designer Nikki Hollis said: “I definitely aced my last interview because they instantly recognised how suitable I was and spent the next 45 minutes talking about which is the best pizza chain.
“I haven’t heard back yet, but that’s probably because they’re really nice people and they’re busy sending out supportive rejection letters to everyone else.”