Pseudo-scientific diet fails to stop scientific illness

A WOMAN has contracted a stinking cold despite following a special diet based on wishful thinking.

Web designer Emma Bradford became unwell after a virus that is scientifically proven to exist overcame the imaginary defences provided by ‘superfoods’ and pills made from inedible plants.

Bradford said: “How can I have a cold when I drink a pint of blueberry and cabbage smoothie every morning with a capsule of geranium oil?

While Bradford’s low-fat diet has certain benefits, they do not include killing the virus currently causing her to ooze mucus while sitting under a duvet watching cartoons.

She continued: “I’m sure my diet’s fundamentally sound because it’s about anti-oxidants, micronutrients and amino acids, and those are all definitely science words.

“However I’m starting to wonder if omega-3 oils really do make you cleverer, especially when a bottle of capsules costs £35 and a tin of sardines is 40p.”