Michelle Mone's frozen assets – a guide

£75m of Baroness Mone’s assets have been frozen. These are just a few of them.

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Five reasons school night hangovers are worse than weekend hangovers

WEEKEND hangovers are bad enough, but they’ve got nothing on ones during the working week. Here’s why you’ll regret getting shitfaced on a school night.

You need to get up early

Weekend hangovers gift you the luxury of time. You don’t even need to stumble to the bathroom while making empty promises about never drinking again if that’s your usual feeble coping strategy. Not so during the week. You have to snooze your alarm eight times as usual, have a tactical puke, then pretend to be a normal human being by nine o’clock.

They don’t warrant a sickie

Sure, you could phone in sick, but you know it would be a lie. You don’t have an actual illness, you just had a pint or three too many and you’re not in your 20s anymore. Plus you made the stupid mistake of sharing pictures of yourself having a good time in the pub on social media, somewhat undermining your usual flimsy excuse about having a migraine.

It’s always a nasty surprise

You always know when a weekend hangover is coming. It’s usually around the time the eighth pint is plonked in front of you. School night hangovers on the other hand creep up on you. You may have only had three drinks, but you didn’t line your stomach and your tolerance is at a weekly low. Your mistakes will feel obvious in a few hours when you try to commute while feeling like you’re dying.

You have to look productive

Sitting at your desk mindlessly clicking between tabs sounds like a piece of piss. And when you’re sober, it is. If you’re hungover though then it feels like you’re trying to steer a ship in rough seas. Just pray you don’t have a meeting because listening to colleagues drone on about Q2 projections will be even more agonising with extreme, possibly justified, paranoia about puking in the waste paper bin.

They risk ruining your weekend drinking

School night hangovers run the risk of lasting into the evening and ruining your chances of getting properly hammered at the weekend. Can you face the grim prospect of enduring trips to IKEA or your in-laws completely sober because you got carried away in the week? No. Drink responsibly by saving shots and pitchers until Friday afternoon at the earliest.