GETTING workers to stand up until their legs hurt can help them to know their place, according to bosses.
The removal of chairs from the workplace is ostensibly a health measure, but is actually a means of ‘mentally breaking’ staff.
Managing direction Tom Booker said: “We like to claim there are health risks of sitting down all day, but of course this is bollocks.
“It’s about reinforcing the master-slave dynamic and helping to completely negate their identity, thus making them totally subservient.”
Booker’s firm also recently introduced dangling employees from windows by their ankles, supposedly to aid circulation.
Data analyst Emma Bradford said: “I know that standing all day is really good for me, but perhaps I should be allowed to leave my designated spot to go to the toilet.
“And having water forcibly poured in my mouth when I’m not even thirsty feels a bit cruel. Still, what do I know? I’m nothing.”
Booker said: “I wouldn’t whip them or anything. I’m not a monster and besides relatives ask questions if you break the skin.”