RYANAIR is to become the first budget carrier to fly passengers to New York in utter misery for less than a tenner.
The airline said the new £8 service would bear all the shitty hallmarks of a typically soul destroying Ryanair experience.
The in-flight meal will involve a catering box of Wotsits emptied into the aisle followed by an angry free-for-all.
But for an extra £10 passengers can upgrade to their own, individually wrapped, Kraft cheese single and a sachet of HP-style sauce.
In-flight entertainment will include Highlander III: The Sorcerer and episode five of the second series of Rings on Their Fingers starring Martin Jarvis as ‘Oliver’ and Diane Keen as ‘Sandy’.
A Ryanair spokesman stressed the advertised fare did not include a series of inexplicable, fake-sounding supplements which should bring the total cost to around £1,214.
Travel industry analyst Wayne Hayes said: “These days most people are happy to pay the extra fifty quid not to be punched squarely in the face as they board the aircraft.”
The spokesman added: “As the flight will involve around eight hours of unremitting hellishness as opposed to the Ryanair average of three, we will be offering a £10 cyanide biscuit.”