Save tiny amount of money by doing stuff that's a massive pain in the arse, says consumer expert

UK CONSUMERS could save £15.68 a year if they went to hugely time-consuming lengths to do so, it has been claimed.

According to consumer advice blogger Nathan Muir, simply changing trains six times in a one-hour journey or posting back half-empty refill packs of washing liquid can save pennies at a time. 

He said: “Buy 24 jars of Carte Noire at once and not only can you claim three free jars, you get 4,800 Nectar points for an overall saving of £5.80 over two years. You’d be a fool not to.

“And, instead of flying from costly Heathrow, an overnight National Express coach to Newcastle airport and a shuttle flight to Dublin saves you £8.88 per flight to Boston. 

“If you’re running a small business, can you afford not to do that? You can guarantee your competitors will be.”

Muir also advises switching energy supplier every six months, switching credit card every six weeks and buying a new SIM card for every phone call which could net a saving of £1.22 over a decade.

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Mini Cooper owners even worse than you suspected

PEOPLE with Mini Coopers are even worse than you had assumed, it has emerged.

New research revealed that 86 per cent of Britons immediately ’take against’ drivers of the fancy fucking sports hatchback, which experts say is not actually unfair.

Car analyst Mary Fisher said: “Generally it is bad to judge people but in the case of Mini Cooper drivers it is fine.

“Just look at the thing. It isn’t right or good.

“Mini Cooper drivers fall into three basic categories – jumped up little bastards making their mark in the property industry, leathery businesswomen who think they have sexual charisma and spoiled rich girls with weird flirty dad relationships.”

54-year-old Mini Cooper S driver Helen Archer said: “When I’m in my snazzy hatchback, driving around Cotswolds market towns with my Dior shades on and the confidence that comes from reasonably effective chin lift surgery, I know that I could have any man I want. Any man.”