RAPPER Ice Spice is massively popular with Generation Z. As such, your ageing father hasn’t got a clue who or what an ‘ice spice’ is. Here are his theories on the subject.
A new legal high
Young people enjoy Ice Spice. Young people also enjoy ingesting dangerous substances. Your dad therefore hypothesises that Ice Spice could be the latest trendy legal high to sweep the ‘youth scene’, with youngsters across the country gleefully huffing it from balloons in parks and nightclubs instead of taking proper drugs.
A car air freshener
Forest fresh, wild cherry, summer cotton, ice spice – it just has that air freshener sound. The words evoke a sense of cleansing freshness your dad would happily hang from his rear-view mirror in the form of a cardboard tree. However, he doesn’t fully understand why a car air freshener would achieve such enormous acclaim among the younger generation.
A type of coffee from Starbucks
Having vaguely heard of a pumpkin spice latte, your dad has arrived at the conclusion that ice spice could very well be some kind of iced coffee beverage. It certainly sounds like something you’d pay an aproned hipster £4.50 for the pleasure of drinking.
A new type of Old Spice
Your dad remembers the happy times when there was only one fragrance for men, Old Spice aftershave. Okay, you smelt like some sort of pickled vegetable and it felt like rubbing caustic soda on your face, but he’s nonetheless thrilled that people have seen sense and abandoned all this flash-in-the-pan Calvin Klein and Armani nonsense.
A Nintendo game
The title of every video game – aside from Pong and Asteroids – is completely incomprehensible to your father. To him, they all sound something like Elite Modern Combat Warfare Death Drive 6. It is, he believes, entirely possible Ice Spice is a game kids are playing on the MarioBox or X-Tube or whatever the stupid thing’s called.
A way of saying ‘cool’
As far as your old man is concerned, the younger generation’s vocabulary is at least 70 per cent utter bollocks. And they already have many bizarre ways of expressing that something is cool – ‘dope, ‘sick’, ‘lit’, ‘fire’, ‘fleek’. ‘Ice spice’ could just be the latest bit of unintelligible nonsense kids are using to describe something as good. Yes, that’ll be it.