PRINCE Charles will use the throne as a transmitter for his peculiar strand of bullshit when he becomes King, it was revealed yesterday.
As he celebrates his 60th birthday the Prince said it was vital the monarch was able to sweep away 360 years of constitutional convention and mouth off about whatever he felt like without being asked.
According to Jonathan Dimbleby, the Prince's biographer and official friend, the heir to the throne will demand a weekly, hour-long television broadcast where he will go through his latest complaints and give updates on the progress of previous complaints.
Dimbleby added: "He has a very long list of things he wants to talk to us about."
According to Dimbleby, the Prince's latest issues include:
- Britain's ancient manholes.
- The shape of cups.
- 'Whither the doughty hedgehog?'
- Why he has to keep resetting the driving position in his Aston Martin.
But Labour backbencher Roy Hobbs said: "As monarch, his constitutional role will involve waving to tourists from a horse and wishing us all a merry Christmas.
"In exchange for that he gets eight houses, a two month skiing holiday and all the foxes he can stuff.
"If he has a problem with any of that I'd be more than happy to draw him a picture of Charles I's headless corpse."