Derren Brown has hooves instead of feet

DERREN Brown has goat-like hooves because of doing black magic, it has emerged.

The celebrity evil wizard was recently filmed surviving asphyxiation with a plastic bag, an act which could only be done with the help of demonic powers.

Brown’s neighbour Wayne Hayes said: “I was thinking about Derren when I bought some milk, and when I got home it was off. That afternoon I lost a hammer, or at least could not find it for a bit. It all seemed too much of a coincidence.

“The next day I saw him sunbathing in his garden and he had hooves instead of feet. Cloven hooves, like a goat’s, which are the bad kind of hooves.

“That night I prayed for him to be destroyed by God but he was still around in the morning, putting his bins outs.”

Donna Sheridan, from Hartlepool, said: “Whether he is evil incarnate or not, his programmes are very entertaining and I think it would be a shame to burn him at the stake.”