FATE has apologised for sleeping on the job and allowing Bono to emerge unscathed from an air accident.Always with you, never without you
The impersonal force that predetermines events has admitted that the incident in which an aircrafts rear hatch flew off in mid-air was slated to be the U2 singers end, but that it was napping at the time.
Fate said: Believe me, I know how frustrated everyone feels.
You have no idea how hard Ive been trying these last 35 years, but the man seems unkillable.
Hes too short for snipers, hes too pious for a drug overdose, and he should have been crushed under the weight of his own ego years ago but somehow it only makes him stronger.
Unpalatable as it seems, Im afraid that someone up there appears to be looking after him.
Following denials from the Almighty, Lucifer admitted having a hand in Bonos miraculous survival, saying: I know, I know, but I cant bear taking him just yet.
You thought hed be going to the other place? But how could it be Hell without Bono?