He's got a bloody nerve, says nation with no idea what Harry is up to

PRINCE Harry has been strongly condemned for the actions he is taking in this court case which is about whatever it is about. 

Britons who have vaguely seen a headline or overheard an outraged conversation are away that the Duke of Sussex is once again in the UK, and have responded with eyerolls, tutting and unfocused disapproval.

Punter Martin Bishop said: “It’s just classic Prince Harry. Over here, hogging the headlines, doing something or other in court about forcing Special Branch to tap his voicemail or I don’t know what.

“His horrible wife will be behind it, as usual. Masterminding this whole attempt to besmirch the monarchy and, you know, ruin Britain like she wants to. I’ve no idea of her reasons and I don’t want to.

“What I take issue with is that it’s shoved down our throats. He can’t just mind his own business, he has to be on the front page of every paper, and he’s meant to not want to be in them while he’s getting them all riled up.”

“If he’s going to do something it should be meaningful, like trying to hold the press to account. But he’s too busy being a so-called celebrity.”

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Socks and sliders just as unacceptable as socks and sandals

PAIRING socks with sliders looks just as ridiculous as wearing socks with any other kind of sandal, it has been confirmed.

Sliders are so similar to sandals in terms of build and functionality that wearing them with socks is no better than when your dad wore grey socks with his brown leather buckle-up sandals on the Algarve in 1997.

Fashion expert Nikki Hollis said: “Sliders are designed for poolside and beach. Socks are there to keep your feet nice and warm. Is it obvious why they’re a bad match yet?

“This isn’t an archaic rule of fashion like making sure your belt and shoe colour match which only women and gay guys understand. It’s like wearing a bikini and a scarf. Even straight men can see that.

“And no, a Nike tick or Adidas stripes or Balenciaga doesn’t make it okay. If anything it makes it worse. You know about fashion, and you’re flopping around like a grandad in Crocs going to the toilet block on an Oswestry caravan site?”

Socks-and-sliders wearer Ryan Whittaker said: “What about if the socks are a dazzling white and pulled halfway up my shins? That looks cool and not like a stereotypical German tourist, right?”