JORDAN and Peter Andre were yesterday granted a 'quickie' interview and photoshoot deal with Okay! magazine.
A High Court judge said it was in the interests of both parties that the end of their pretend marriage be covered in page after page of full colour photographs and dramatic pull-out quotes.
Although neither was present for the hearing, both were represented by legal teams screaming obscene curses at each other on their behalf.
A spokesman for Andre said: "The deal includes a 200-word sidebar about how Peter is getting back to normal and returning to his daily routine of inventing strange new words and doing loads and loads of sit-ups on a sunbed."
Meanwhile Jordan is understood to be relieved that the article will not be dragged out over months as she has to devote time to finding someone to write her next book.
Her spokesman said: "Articles about divorce are never easy, but she really wants people to know that she has put the past behind her and is finally moving on with her nipples."
The pretend marriage fell apart earlier this year after one of the imaginary horses inside Jordan's head accused Andre of looking at a picture of a woman in a magazine whilst smiling. She immediately responded by running him over in her Humvee and posting two Ultimate Fighters at the entrance to her vulva.
Okay! reader Nikki Hollis said: "I can't wait to see pictures of their palatial child visitation room and glamorous divorce counselling sessions. Sometimes I look at my own life and cry until my throat's raw."