Man launches dream career of showing people his arse

A 48-YEAR-OLD man is confident he can emulate the success of Kim Kardashian by showing people his buttocks, he has revealed.

Norman Steele has quit his job as an HGV driver after realising his sizeable backside could become a lucrative talking point in the international media.

He said: “If we’re talking size I’ve got her beaten easily, so I’d be a fool not to chuck in my job and start a new career based on exposing my arse.

“Whenever I go out now I wear a tiny thong instead of trousers, and judging by the numbers staring and taking pictures I’m creating quite a social media buzz.

“Now that my arse is my living I’ve really started taking care of it with regular moisturising and waxing, which is obviously the precursor to launching my own bumcare range. And fragrance.”

Mail Online reporter Eleanor Shaw said: “Fuck it, we’ll put him on the sidebar. Why not?”

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New app shows Londoners what it would be like to own a house

A NEW smartphone app simulating the experience of home ownership in London is wildly popular among young people. 

Ownr, which allows virtual homeowners to drill holes in walls, have pets and replace ovens the same week they break, is according to many young Londoners ‘like entering an amazing alternate world’.

Carolyn Ryan of Wood Green said: “Just the feeling of walking around my virtual flat, knowing I could leave fingerprints on the walls without my Dubai-based landlord instantly taking my £1,600 deposit, was incredible.

“But it’s a bit unrealistic. My property has a parking space and a garden – come on – and there isn’t even a streetlight shining through the Ikea blinds in the bedroom. Makes it hard to suspend your disbelief.”

App creator Tom Booker said: “We’ve done our best to make Ownr authentic, though obviously as a young Londoner I rent a shared house in Essex.

“Unfortunately the app may not have much longevity. 90 per cent of users don’t get past the initial 36-month cycle before fucking off and renting it out.”