Middleton coat of arms features BMW badge and golf ball

THE Middleton family has unveiled Britain’s most middle class coat of arms.

The heraldic shield, which will be displayed on the back of the Royal Wedding order of service where it belongs, features three golf balls to represent each of the Middleton children.

At its centre is the badge of a BMW X5, representing all that the family holds to be important and worthy of respect.

Running from top to bottom is a ladder, with the golf ball representing Kate at the top of it, in celebration of the family’s triumphant success at social climbing.

After the wedding the coat of arms will be adapted slightly to add a small crown to the ‘Kate’ golf ball.

Heraldic expert Denys Finch-Hatton said: “Getting the coat of arms just right is hugely important to a couple as unremittingly middle class as Michael and Carole Middleton.

“The rampant BMW badge expresses both power and taste. At least it does to them.

“If only there had been room for the cover of a Joanna Trollope novel and a bottle of Cloudy Bay.”



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Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I spend everyday slaving after my
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Dear Fiona,
At times like this, the only suitable
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Hope that helps,