Osborne's cat is a cat whore

THE Chancellor of the Exchequer’s cat has been charged with soliciting after being found in a red light district.

Freya, a five-year-old tabby, was arrested after jumping onto the lap of an undercover police officer and offering an array of lewd acts.

Prostitute Emma Bradford said: “She’s out day and night looking for punters dressed in that denim miniskirt, shaking her tail at traffic.

“Apparently austerity begins at home in Downing Street, and she gets no more than one bowl of dry food a day.

“She’ll do anything literally anything for a pouch of Felix.”

George Osborne said: “Freya was merely out for a midnight walk to clear her head when police officers jumped to the wrong conclusion.

“She is not a feline whore, and rumours that I demand 80 per cent of her earnings are false and libellous.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got to teach that nasty kitty a few lessons to learn.”

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