TV chef Gordon Ramsay is urging consumers to buy freaky sex drugs that are in season.
Ramsay said too many British households are making do with cheap, frozen sex potions that have been shipped half way across the world and have lost all their flavour.
The chef, known as a perfectionist when it comes to illicit, drug-fuelled hump sessions, added: "It's a bit silly to buy pre-packaged Yohimbe that's been flown-in from Kenya, all for the sake of a fast, easy erection when you get home from work.
"Talk to your local chemist about what's good right now. They'll have plenty of fresh, top quality sex juice and can even advise you on how to use it.
"At this time of year I like a ripe chunk of Vitamin B5. It goes really well with handcuffs, a chair and half a pound of good English butter.
"And if you're having friends over a small bottle of Amyl Nitrate will make a fantastic weekend orgy and there should even be enough leftover for a Wednesday night threesome.
"The important things is to enjoy your chemically enhanced erections. Have them at the dinner table and make them last as long as possible."
Ramsay has produced a new book and DVD including a month by month guide and dozens of new recipes including Poppers and Chicken, Summer Cock Salad and lamb seasoned with rosemary until it hurts.