THE Duke and Duchess of Sussex are moving to Britain, and we’ve all got our own legally inadmissible opinions as to why. What’s yours?
Roy Hobbs, roofer: “Satanic abuse network collapsed and they’re fleeing arrest most likely, same as Ellen.”
Helen Archer, relationship manager: “Because if they can reverse Megxit, it will prove to the country you can reverse Brexit. Yeah. That’s how evil they are.”
Wayne Hayes, traffic warden: “Simple. He’s got Anne Hathaway pregnant and it’s going to come out ginger.”
Sophie Rodriguez, charity co-ordinator: “Clearly they missed having the Daily Mail thump onto the doormat every morning, full of insightful stories about them and their lives.”
Mary Fisher, magistrate: “Being in the state where the industry is based and films proved an irresistible temptation and Meghan’s been doing porn again.”
Stephen Malley, landscape gardener: “Yeah, not to be all boring about this but he’s here because his dad’s dying. Sorry if that’s brought the mood down.”
