Sunday, 27th September 2020

Britain warned to expect month's worth of rain chat in two hours

EXPERTS have warned Britain to prepare for intense periods of mindless chatter about the weather when the heatwave breaks.

After a run of sweltering days, storms are expected across the UK, bringing with them a deluge of repetitive rain-based conversations.

Meteorologist Dr Eleanor Shaw said: “Currently, it is impossible to pinpoint exactly where and for how long these dangerously boring conversations will happen, but we are urging all Britons to be prepared for storm banter.

“Our natural defences could be overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the interactions, which will be just as unavoidable on social media as in person.

“Warnings are being issued to remain vigilant about responding to hail-based conversation starters, and to be ready to flee from potentially devastatingly observations about clouds.”

Lancashire resident, Caroline Ryan, said: “The drains on our road flood at the slightest suggestion of rain, so I’m braced for a downpour of WhatsApps about how the council should do something.

“All I can do is take shelter and keep reminding myself that not even Britain can talk about rain forever.”