Dog carefully plans most awkward place to lie

A LABRADOR is carefully plotting the sleeping spot that will cause maximum annoyance.

Doncaster-based dog Roy Hobbs said: “It is all about angles and spatial awareness. I’m looking for a natural chokepoint. Ideally anyone going around me would smack their shin on the coffee table.

“I’m also leaning towards that square of carpet near the bottom of the stairs that will let me partially block the doorway to the kitchen.

“You need to keep your concentration, then when somebody steps over you, yelp like they stamped on your ear and leap to your feet. If you time it right you can easily get one of them to spill a hot drink or fall over.”

Hobbs added: “Humans think we are their friends, but we resent their patronising behaviour and seek to injure them.”