THE leader of North Korea has sworn to only use nuclear weapons if he is really in the mood.
Kim Jong-un, who took over running the family dictatorship in 2012, has told Western powers that use of the hydrogen bomb will be reserved for an occasion of extreme wanting-to.
He continued: “For example, today is my birthday so I treated myself to the detonation of a six kiloton hydrogen bomb, which is fair enough.
“But what I won’t do is order the nuking of say Tokyo just because I’ve been brought corked wine or don’t like that night’s episode of Lewis.
“If that happens I’ll be self-disciplined and just shoot a few relatives as usual.”
The international community has responded with relief to the news, which a US spokesman said was “the strongest assurance they could possibly have hoped for.”
The spokesman added: “Now we can completely stop worrying about North Korea and concentrate on Iran.
“They’ve had wars with Saddam Hussain and ISIS, you know. We can’t trust people like that.”