Kids ‘only want to go outside when it’s f**king freezing’

CHILDREN are only interested in going outdoors when it is incredibly cold, it has emerged.

Researchers found that children were content to watch telly or dick about on tablets until the temperature falls below freezing.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “They’ll pretend it’s because they want to go sledging or have a snowball fight. Actually though they’re just little tossers who like to see adults suffer.”

Seven-year-old Wayne Hayes said: “I’m off school and now I need some adults to immediately take me out into the frozen tundra to ‘play’.

“And if you don’t take me outside I’ll make you feel terribly guilty by suddenly ballooning to 12 stone like some sort of jungle toad.”