Scotland experiencing first-ever bout of bad weather

SCOTLAND is experiencing bad weather for the first time in its history.

The tropical paradise, whose name means ‘Sunny Place’ in Ancient Greek, has been hit by an arctic blast bringing snow and other previously-unseen hostile weather conditions.

First minister Nicola Sturgeon said: “For centuries our country has been a haven of cloudless blue skies and unbroken sunshine, where peace-loving locals sit gazing over flawless beach sunsets and sipping from local coconuts.

“Finally, that bliss has been shattered. Things called ‘snow’, ‘rain’ and ‘wind’, previously unknown to us, are sweeping our utopian land.

“If it continues we may even require waterproof outer garments.”

Glasgow resident Nathan Muir said: “I’ve never seen a cloud. It looks so very strange to me.

“I worry that these new types of unpleasant weather may have some effect on the national psyche, changing us from upbeat and easy-going to somewhat maudlin and prone to conflict.”