Weather reassures parents it will be shit again for the holidays

THE UK’s weather has reassured anxious parents it will return to raining solidly for their upcoming fortnight away. 

Fears that the current heatwave may continue past the end of term have been quashed after six weeks of heavy rainfall and gale-force winds were unveiled.

A spokesman said: “Everyone can relax. Whether you’re travelling to the Isle of Skye or the Cornish coast, it will be ghastly.

“It will be particularly concentrated on coastal areas, though of course the Lake District and Yorkshire Dales will get their share, and no promise to brighten up later will be fulfilled.

“This means big savings on suncream and ice-lollies for anxious parents which can be spent on visiting expensive indoor attractions like tank museums and the restored houses of Henry VIII’s wives.”