‘No, I am not in the f**king garden,’ says home worker

A MAN who works from home has reiterated for the eighth time today that he is not sitting in the garden.

Wayne Hayes, a video editor, has so far spent 40 per cent of each call explaining that he is working indoors and a further 25 per cent hearing how hot it is in the head office.

He said: “I have three monitors and a Mac Pro pumping out the heat of a three-bar fire, so moving my work outside would require a fork-lift.

“Nevertheless, my last call from those air-conditioned bastards began ‘Managed to reach the phone from your hammock, did you?’.”

Hayes added: “Yes, I’m in shorts. No, that does not mean my working day is a tropical paradise of cocktails in coconut shells and reggae music.

“Still, I suppose it makes a change from them asking if I’m still in my pyjamas. Arseholes.”