BLUEBERRIES, the small posh fruit that claims to be an antioxidant superfood, have huge egos and a superiority complex, scientists have agreed.
The frankly ordinary fruits have long acted as if they are a class above mere strawberries or raspberries and expect to be treated accordingly.
Nutritionist Dr Helen Archer said: “They think they’re the dog’s bollocks because Americans put them in muffins and we’ve all just blindly gone along with it.
“The only bad press a blueberry has ever had is when Violet Beauregarde turned into one in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and she deserved it. Everyone loves the smug motherf**kers.
“You don’t even have to chew them – unlike a brutish, common orange or apple, you can just pop them into your mouth and keep yapping on about your second home in Cornwall.
“But actually blueberries don’t even taste that nice. They stain your clothes, at least one in three has already gone all mushy, and blueberry yoghurt tastes crap.
“Cranberries are foul but at least they treat urinary tract infections. Just because blueberries are blue we act like they’re special. Well they’re not.”