Get back in a f**king can, macaroni cheese told

MACARONI cheese is not gourmet food served at restaurants but a last resort meal from a can at the back of a cupboard, diners have confirmed. 

After several years of gloopy plates of cheese sauce and pasta creeping onto menus across the country as if they were a viable fine dining option, experts say enough is enough and macaroni cheese must return to its rightful place.

Chef Oliver O’Connor said: “By being renamed ‘mac and cheese’, like they call it in America, this insipid slop has somehow become something people genuinely want to eat, rather than forcing it down because they can’t be arsed to walk to the shops.

“It looks like maggots in vomit, even if you dress it up with leeks and bacon, and it tastes like a pair of socks that’s been worn for three weeks too long.

“It’s time it went back in a can that costs 69p from your local Happy Shopper and sits in a cupboard gathering dust for so long that the next time you look at it, it’s seven years past its sell by date.

“And then goes in the bin, where it belongs.”

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