Maniac puts banana in rucksack

AN absolute maniac has been seen putting a banana in their rucksack completely unprotected before then heading off to work.

Martin Bishop intends to eat the banana as an afternoon snack unaware that his commute to work will cause it to be a brutalised shadow of its former self.

He said: “What’s the big deal? It’ll be fine, won’t it?”

Eyewitness Joanna Kramer said: “I saw him put the banana in his rucksack even though he must know by the time he gets to work the banana will be a smear of fruity jizz spread over the lining of his bag.

“I thought Martin was a sensible, smart guy, which is why I married him. I now have grave concerns about his brain.”