Friday, 4th December 2020

Vegetarian 'honestly' doesn't mind if you eat meat in front of them, you awful prick

A VEGETARIAN is definitely, completely sure that there is no problem with you eating your medium-rare steak while sat opposite them, you dick.

Carolyn Ryan, a long-term vegetarian, is completely fine with friends and family consuming the flesh of an innocent animal right in her f**king face, ‘no don’t worry about it’.

She continued: “Like they’d give a shit if I wasn’t ‘fine’. Trust me, I’ve tried.

“Sure, flay and cremate a chicken right in front of me. Why would I mind? It’s only completely contrary to my stated value system.

“Some vegetarians still buy meat for others, or cook it. I personally won’t do either of those things, but apparently casting judgement if on a first date a carcass is delivered to our table is ‘rude’.

“I have the good table manners not to comment because it’s preferable to carnivores getting all huffy and turning away from the table to bite their burgers, like that makes it better.

“The only thing I vocally object to is if you’re the kind of knob that has ketchup with a filet mignon. I mean, Jesus, did a cow really have to die for that?”