Saturday, 8th May 2021

Woman finds new way to remove joy from life by meal planning

A WOMAN has discovered that planning a week in advance what she will eat for every meal really frees her from any spontaneous happiness.

Francesca Johnson had the breakthrough after spending ten hours batch-cooking bolognese and fish pie before freezing them in individual portions for maximum efficiency and bleakness.

She said: “Knowing there will be absolutely no spur-of-the-moment snacks or unexpected cravings fulfilled is like settling a big, grey blanket over my whole life.

“The last thing I want after a day chained to my desk is to have any free choice about what I eat. Instead, I simply defrost a pre-prepared serving like an organic robot.

“It’s also saving me loads because I’m not just spending on things I fancy, like nice ready meals or delicious Chinese takeaways, to cheer myself up of an evening. All that’s gone.

“Of course I introduce some variety, like whether I eat from a bowl or a plate.”