Friday, 4th December 2020

45-year-old man has been going through midlife crisis for 20 years

A 45-YEAR-OLD has confirmed that he has been going through his midlife crisis since around 1999. 

Tom Booker of Swindon began to worry about his advancing age, lack of achievement compared to his peers, and inevitable mortality aged 25 and has not stopped since.

He said: “I mean what’s it all for? What have I really done with my life? Is this it? Those are the thoughts I’ve been having since approximately the time The Matrix came out.

“I always think of midlife crisis as a blokes buying sports cars and leaving their wives for their secretaries, but I can’t drive and haven’t got a secretary, which only makes my crisis worse.

“Apparently this crisis can last until I’m in my mid-60s. Surely a crisis is something that demands immediate action, rather than dragging on for your entire life.”

Booker added: “But I also support West Ham, and they’ve been in crisis for at least as long as I have. So yeah, I guess this is it.”