A MAN who performs the bare minimum of physical activity nonetheless believes it necessary for him to consume three large steaks a day.
32-year-old homeworker Ryan Whittaker regularly consumes ten times the recommended daily amount of protein despite not being a professional, amateur or even aspiring athlete.
Ryan explained: “I’m looking to get buff. You need protein to build muscle, which makes sense, right, because you can only build meat out of other meat. That’s basic science.
“So I’ve swapped my previous lunch of beans on toast for a whole roast chicken. For dinner I’ll have a 20-egg omelette and a kilogram of beef mince. If I fancy something for dessert, I’ll crack a 12-pack of Wall’s sausages.
“It’s my belief that after three months on this diet, I’ll look just like Henry Cavill. Of course I’m working full-time so with that, five hours gaming a night and all the cooking I’m doing I can’t get to the gym. Or leave the house.
“It shouldn’t matter. They say that abs are made in the kitchen, so I’m skipping over the unnecessary bit.”
Dietician Helen Archer said: “Ryan will certainly experience dramatic bodily changes on this diet. He’ll have scurvy and rickets at the same time.”
