Woman on diet has lost one and a half friends since start of January

A WOMAN on a new diet has already seen her social engagements slimmed down dramatically.

Emma Bradford has been telling everyone about the benefits of the DASH diet since 1st January and is amazed at the difference it has made to her on Facebook, Twitter and in real life.

She said: “Turning down every invitation to the pub or cinema to run on a treadmill while staring at The One Show with subtitles isn’t easy, but the friends are just dropping off me.

“By loudly counting calories, treating any offer of cake or chocolate as a personal insult and demanding sponsorship for a half-marathon, even strangers are going out of their way to avoid me.

“As we head into crunch time, I plan to offer patronising dieting advice to anyone fatter than me. By April, I expect the social invitations to stop entirely.”

By May, Bradford hopes to be posting before and after pictures on Facebook, the former showing her surrounded by laughing friends in a bar and the latter showing her alone with a kale smoothie.