GLUTEN is the magic ingredient that makes everything from bread to biscuits taste delicious, research has confirmed.
Comparative tests have found that since everything gluten-free tastes terrible, logically gluten is a delight for the palate that makes eating worthwhile.
Tom Booker of Harrogate said: “My girlfriend has gluten-free cakes because of an allergy, and last night she made me try one. It was like eating curtains from a bowl.
“But when I had a proper cake after it tasted absolutely fantastic, so we can only conclude that gluten is the greatest and everyone should have as much as possible.
“I wonder what just a full bowl of gluten tastes like. Probably just so amazing.”
Girlfriend Emma Bradford says: “Tom really loves his gluten, where I can’t have pies or biscuits or sandwiches or anything like that.
“He’ll never know what it’s like to be special like me.”