Subscribe

'I only find sparkling refreshing': Six water wankers who need to get a grip

WATER is, ultimately, water. Sadly that doesn’t stop some being incredibly particular about the hydration they need to live, like the following wankers: 

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

How to put up an unconvincing fight to pay the bill

‘NO, no, I’ll pay,’ you say, not meaning a word of it, but afraid to push it too far. These techniques will make it seem you desperately wanted to cover it but were cruelly thwarted:

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now
Next story ›