HOLLYWOOD superstar Michael J. Fox last night complained that he would have been cured of his Parkinson’s disease by now if he really was a mouse.
The Stuart Little actor said he was sick of having his paper opened for him only to read about another wonder cure for mice.
And he urged doctors to spend less time helping small rodents with chronic illnesses and a bit more time helping people.
Fox said: "We've got a cancer proof mouse, mice that can be cured of diabetes, mice that enjoy eternal youth and now we've found out how to cure 'mouse' Parkinson's.
"Meanwhile I am sitting here shaking so much my fillings are falling out."
He added: "Mice can't even act . They had to call me in to do the voice because the 'real' mouse kept forgetting his lines. I held his hand through the whole thing.
"Now he's running around the place in his little red car, while I'm not even allowed to drive in case I suddenly switch lanes or run over a cat."
Fox complained that life expectancy for mice was now more than double that of the average actor in Hollywood.
He said: "I've even heard that Buddhists are behaving like total shits, just so they can get reincarnated as mice. Fuckin' Buddhists."