Man thinking about training for marathon drives three minutes to Tesco for pint of milk again

A MAN who claims he is seriously considering a 26 mile run can barely get off his arse to walk to the shops.

Martin Bishop has told friends and family that he plans to enter the Brighton Marathon next year, even though the last time he properly exercised was when running after an ice cream van in 1998.

Bishop’s partner Emma Bradshaw said: “Whilst I’m glad Martin is thinking about doing something that might stop him turning from ‘slightly chunky’ into ‘big fat tit’, this is delusional.

“He seems to be under the impression that talking about doing it is the same as doing it. It’s the same attitude that he has applied to proposing to me, and I’ve got one foot out the door, if I’m honest.”

Bishop said: “Look, I have bought a Fitbit.”