NUTRITIONISTS have claimed eating two, four, six, or eight portions of fruit and vegetables every day is healthy, but eating one, three, five, or seven could be fatal.
The five-a-day guideline, promoted for years, has now been abandoned for dangerously imbalancing the body and shortening life by as much as a decade.
Nutritionist Helen Archer said: “The human body is symmetrical with two hands, two eyes, two lungs and so on, so everything must be eaten in pairs.
“If you eat a banana it opens up two ‘health slots’ but if the next thing you eat is a pie then it goes in a ‘health slot’ and begins corrupting your ‘health cores’, which is really bad.
“So while two portions of carrots are great, three will kill you. With a portion being probably like two or so carrots, depending on how big they are.
“Follow this advice rigorously until we decide it’s wrong and change it. Or you’ll die.”