Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Starmer self-isolating after family member shows symptoms of Corbynism

SIR Keir Starmer has been forced to self-isolate at home after a member of his household displayed symptoms of Corbynism.

The Labour leader will not have any other contact with his front bench for 14 days for fear of a repeat of the socialist epidemic which came close to killing his party last year.

An insider said: “Keir noticed a relative suffering a troubling inclination to nationalise railways, a powerful aversion to criticising Russia and the beginnings of an urge to get an allotment and reacted immediately.

“He’s isolated that person, who is understood to be too young to remember the 1970s, and is remaining home so he doesn’t end up reinfecting the party with the troubling anti-Semitism it’s only just got rid of.

“Though Sir Keir isn’t showing any symptoms himself, he is taking every precaution to ensure that his brand of mum-friendly Labour doesn’t become sick with support for Cuba or guest spots on Iranian state television.”