British and German holidaymakers joint worst, says rest of Europe

EUROPE has ended the argument about whether British or German holidaymakers are the worst by confirming that they both are.

Tourist destinations across the continent have confirmed that the ones who won the world wars and the ones who won the World Cups are essentially interchangeable.

Dimitris Martakis of Greece said: “Both are fat, both are blindingly white, both drink beer until it is seeping out of their eyes and both are idiotically proud of their damp, grey hellholes.

“When a shaven-headed man with tattooed moobs is screaming at me to pour the shots in his mouth quicker, does it really matter which language he screams in?

“Unpalatable national cuisine, techno music, a pig-headed refusal to take siestas – the only reason you despise one another is that you’re so alike.”