THERE has been hardly any economic activity in France since the last Serge Gainsbourg album, it has emerged.
Official statistics confirmed the priapic Galouise-scented troubadour has been keeping the nation financially afloat for two decades since his death.
Econonist Nikki Hollis said: “Companies still want to license Je T’Aime for sexy adverts, which brings in decent money.
“Apart from that France has sold a few hatchbacks and some croissants but nothing very meaningful.”
The country’s recent economic woes have put president/lover Francoise Hollande under increasing pressure to find a new sex-obsessed musical genius.
Hollande is organising national auditions for small, louche men who write thinly-veiled songs about blow jobs.
He said: “They must be open-minded about drugs, sex – even with incestuous overtones – and not afraid to fuse pop with folk and even reggae.”
Nikki Hollis said: “We shouldn’t be too smug as the UK doesn’t make anything except completed ‘feedback forms’ and ‘customer surveys’ which have zero intrinsic value unless you turn them into origami giraffes.”