Humans left with no-one to impress
THE death of Nelson Mandela has left humanity without a single individual that you would genuinely not want to disappoint.
South Africa’s first black president freed his country from oppression, inspired millions and encouraged countless celebrities to be marginally less self-absorbed.
But as the world mourned a lovely old man who didnt take any shit from racists, everyone realised there was no longer any reason to raise their game.
Tom Logan, from Peterborough, said: Nelson Mandela was my last hope for self-improvement.
I had to factor in the possibility that one day I might meet him and could therefore not allow myself to become irredeemably awful.
Oh well, thats that.
Martin Bishop, from Hatfield, added: I met someone who met him once and actually had a fleeting desire to try and impress them.
And they were not even remotely impressive, so thats powerful stuff.
Meanwhile, Jane Thompson, from Stevenage, said: Its like my lovely old grandpa who fought in the war has died – again.
The key difference being that grandpa had not forgiven anyone, never mind the Germans.
But Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: You dont own Nelson Mandela. He was not your conscience. He was just a guy, doing his thing.
Scared the shit out of the racists though, eh?